Hello? Anyone out there?

I don't know if anyone is reading my blog or even cares what I have to say...all i know is that it is almost 1 am on this November night while my brain is actively alert and refuses to let me sleep.

You know just when you think things are finally turning around life throws another low blow right where it hurts. I know I may be meek and timid when it comes to being assertive but really???? I don't know what say....life is one thing I may not ever understand. But wait is something that should be understood? or do you ride it blindly and accept each bump that it throws you over? I guess right now all i am doing is feeling sorry for myself but even that is a low blow that perhaps I cannot tolerate anymore.

Our community expects you to "serve" the society by working ( or rather I say slaving away) to obtain the "american" dream. Oh and how does that start??? Let me explain...PLEASE!

Well from the moment you are born you are expected to fulfill your parents dreams. You are molded by the environment around you...if you are lucky that environment will hone you to be a strong successful individual or F*** you up where it will throw you in a world where you will always be nothing but the other person in the back.

You are institutionalized by the age of 5 and make it through elementary, middle, and high school, where you are still trying to figure out what the heck you are.

The college years is a time that you better be damn sure what you want to be in life because those four years are a) really expensive b) will pave the path of your life long journey .

YOu graduate thinking you made a wise decision in choosing your career. You have 35k debt that you incurred along the way and the least you would expect is to get a damn job when you graduate... Let's say for argument sake that you don't get a job right away...what do you do?

A smart person would volunteer his or her time trying to prove to their prospective employer's that I "Will work for free" as long as I have shot at a position available.

Well guess what? IF you are not assertive and if you cannot spend every single living moment of your time volunteering someone will come and take your spot. No matter how much sacrifice you may have made....the fact of the matter is it's a dog eats dog world.

TO HELL WITH THE AMERICAN DREAM! because of this damn dream it has caused nothing but stress, mental health problems, physical problems, and just problems after problems. No matter how hard you try...there is always a lesson to be learned right?

Why the hell am I rambling on like some damn idiot? Well let me put things into perspective....being a woman of color does not help. Being an educator in this current recession does not help! Having a child does not help ( mind you I love my angel to itsy bitsy pieces)

That damn book the secret made me believe if i tried and believed...the universe would bring it to me....REALLY? WHERE THE HELL IS IT? I have shed enough tears over rejection after rejection....I EVEN SET A DEADLINE!!! in the end all that matters is your skin color, what's in between your legs, and of course your status.

But of course i shouldn't be negative because after all "everything happens for a reason"

Ahem! Drums and applauses please.....

YES, finally ladies and gentlemen yours truly has finally decided to become green. (Thank you!). I guess the famous three R's of recycling from elementary school are finally kicking in....(hmph!) well it's about time eh?

Well let's talk about my reincarnation of becoming green. It all started when my husband said.."That's it WOMAN we are going organic". So for over a year we have switched to a chemical free life. We actively seek products that are healthierfor us and for the environment. For example, Aluminum free deodorants like Burt's bee: Sage deodorant,

Tom's natural toothpaste:

( Please note that in my future blogs I will have product reviews)



So back to my reincarnation story...I noticed how I started feeling refreshed and alert all of a sudden since my switch. My mouth didn't have ulcers as before when I used regular toothpaste.
When my hubby and I moved to Frankfurt, Germany I noticed how recycling was a big deal there. My apartment building was required to have a compost, and a recycling center by the trash area. That is when I decided it wasn't too hard doing my part....but did I continue? NO of course not. As soon as I returned to Canada I forgot about the 3Rs. But not until recently when the world decided to participate in Earth hour did I

Insulin to Carbs

Dear Friends,

I was at my dietitian the other day, frustrated on this carb counting business esp. when I am traveling and I tend to eat out and have no Idea how much insulin to take so i OD on it ...so she suggested this really good website which is helpful for Canadians as well ( THEY EVEN HAVE TIMMY'S ON THERE!!!) anyway, it's called Calorie King you can search any restaurant or food item and it will list all the nutritional facts EVEN CARBS WOO HOO!!

Some of the members on Tudiabtes.com also suggested to following links which are free for nutritional facts: http://www.fitday.com/, http://www.dietfacts.com/, http://www.dailyplate.com/. Check it out and pass it along to friends and family members who are optimistic for control and bringing those A1c numbers down.Oh and another member posted a PDF file on candy carb....check it out even if you not a diabetic but you interested in weight managment. Download Halloween_CandyChart.pdf

Singing the Lows

Last night after watching the Bucket List, which is an excellent movie if accompanied by a box of tissues, i decided to to watch some funny clips to cheer me up. I was feeling kind of light headed but didn't feel that it was anything serious...moments later my eyes became heavy and I felt so weak. I managed to tell my husband that I wasn't feeling good, and asked if he can bring me some juice. He ran to the kitchen to bring me juice, and once that cup was in my hand I took a few sips and then just crashed. I didn't have any energy or power to lift that cup to my lips. I managed to get a few words out of my mouth. At this point I am shaking...I force myself with all my power to take that cup to my mouth. After 5 min. I finally asked for my meter....but here is where the story gets interesting...I am trying to load my machine with a strip when all of a sudden the strips fall out everywhere, and I just burst into tears at this point I think my husband just felt sorry for me while I sat there crying my eyes out he starts to cradle me and helps me check my blood sugar which was close to 2.2 (Note: average blood sugar= 4-7) ... it's quite funny now that I that i think about it...why was I weeping? Well I guess that is what's happens when your brain gets cloudy I can honestly say that...last night made me feel so hopeless, and that feeling is the worst feeling in the world. When things happen to your body and you cannot control it. I hate that feeling!! But the purpose of my story is that...If your diabetic make sure that you have the following things with you 24/7...

a) A juice box ( in various parts of the house) you never know where you can go low.

b) Candy- You might want to buy lifesavers or jolly ranchers. I used to buy chocolates but I nnoticed they would only last a week. :(

c) Glucose tablets- This is really important, buy a few packs and place them in your purse, diabetic kit, car, desk etc.

d) If you can afford a mini fridge..get one for your room. You can store food for yourself in the fridge so you don't injure yourself coming down the stairs.

e) I have created a mini diabetic kit for myself that I carry with me everywhere. My sexy little kit includes...

-1 insulin pen (I got 2 extra ones from my pharmacy, esp. since they are free)
-Insulin supplies- Needles, insulin
-1 Meter-( I have more than one, since you can get a free meter if you usually buy 100 strips, I have 3 meters of the same model so I can buy one box of 100 strips and disperse them)
-1 juice box
-1 ziplock bag of: candy, glucose tablets
-sugar packets
-granola bar
- Last but not least: Important numbers : GP, ENDO, Pharmacy, diabetes clinic, emergency contact information etc.
- I also created a small about me list which includes my blood type= O positive!, Type 1 diabetic, name of insulin and the units I usually take.
- One thing that I need to buy is a glucagon shot which is a shot that brings your blood sugar up immediately.


I just want to point out one thing which is obvious...no one is going to care as much about your health then you would. With that being said, don't be dependent on anyone, yeah we have this condition and we must live with it and do our best to try to take care of ourselves. I know there are days where I just want to give up when seeing the high numbers and that is okay. the most importnat thing to do is to hop back on the wagon and keep trying ...the harder you work...the luckier you get...:)

Teacher thoughts

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.

3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________"> and know you have been spotted.

4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you mom/dad at one time or another.

5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.

6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and conference period

7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.

9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7:15 to 3:15 and have summers off".

10. You believe chocolate is a food group.

11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.

14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.

15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least one thing!

18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."

19. Yo u find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils

20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,

21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain wayafter meeting his or her parents.

Note: This was an e-mail i recieved from teachingheart.net I do not know who the author is. I did not write this. ---Thanx

THIS IS WHO I AM!

I am strong...
I have a window that helps me peek into my body at least four times a day.
I am a needle user
I am bitter at times
Sometimes I ask why me?
I bleed everyday...and sometimes I bruise.....
I am afraid of needles...
I am afraid of what can happen if I am not strong and healthy.
I am a woman...who wants a child ..
I am determined...
I am hopeful
I am carb counter
I am determined...
I am an expert ...
I am in control of my life
I am normal
I am a woman with low's and high's
I am a woman who takes care of herself day and night
I am a diabetic....who walks hand in hand with diabetes and who looks it straight into it's eyes and says I CAN and I WILL